Having Both a Dog and a Cat in Same Household…

 

Riggs was a rescue cat, that Jim retrieved from one of Denver’s animal shelters about thirteen years ago.  An affectionate pet, he is also quite vocal in letting the world know when he wants attention.  We suspect that his frequent meowing was the reason someone abandoned him in the first place, but his gentle nature, and the fact that he has never clawed furniture or carpeting, make up for Riggs’s feeble attempts at becoming an opera singer.  

He is a creature of habit and can be located easily at any time of day, beginning in the early morning, when he can be found in the basement TV room lounging on the big sofa.  That is where his food, water, and litter box are, but most of the remainder of each day Riggs spends in the sun room on a wicker chair, then on a small camel-back sofa in the master bedroom upstairs, and finally in the wing chair in the library on the main floor, always in that order, almost by the clock.  Relocating seems to give him the benefit of variety and of empowerment in choosing his varied rest areas.  You can almost see in his eyes the decisions he makes, “Well, it’s time to head for the wing chair now.”  When watching TV in the evening, I can always expect Riggs to spend some time on my lap being petted and talked to before his final spot of the wing chair before bed.

Riggs uses his scratching tray in the basement to exercise his claws, as Jim and I don’t believe in declawing, which seems cruel and unnecessary, especially since Riggs has run out the front door a couple of times and was gone for days at a time, completely vulnerable to whatever he might have encountered in the outside world.  Riggs is the only cat I know who comes when he’s called, and his purring sounds like a little outboard motor wrapped in cotton.  He is what most people might consider the ideal feline companion, one whose heartbeat and “personality” add so much to the domestic peace of the house.

Then there is Dudley, my West Highland White Terrorist (Oops! I mean Terrier).  He comes from Tipton, Iowa, where his breeder retired in 2008, Duds being the last pup, which she reserved for me.  My previous Westie (from the same breeder), Cody, died on July 18 of 2009 at the age of almost fifteen.  He was much beloved by everyone who met him, and when he died in my arms that day, I was devastated.  I phoned Marty, Cody’s breeder to find that she had one pup left from the final litter, and that she was retiring from raising Westies.  Dudley was born the same day Cody died, so all signs pointed to my having him as my next dog.  His father’s name was Cody II.  That info prompted Jim to drive me all the way from Denver to Tipton, Iowa to get Duds when he was nine weeks old.  I named him after the angel played by Cary Grant in the 1947 film, THE BISHOP’S WIFE.  For the first few weeks he stayed in a crate at night in the sun room and was quickly house trained.  Riggs accepted him almost immediately with what we believe was an attitude that this clumsy puppy was no threat to the urbane and sophistiacted Riggs, who when tired of the pup’s attempts to start a squabble or wrestling match, would simply walk up three of four stairs toward the second floor, knowing that Dudley was a devout coward when it came to any stairs.  This remains true.  Now the two of them still tumble around locked in bear hugs around the living room and sun room but are essentially buddies who would never dream of hurting each other.

The dog run is twenty-five by forty feet of pea gravel just off the sun room and is surrounded by a six-foot cedar fence with a bonnet all the way around that curves inward to keep out coyotes and to keep Riggs from climbing over it into unknown territory.  The sun room has an electric pet door for both Dudley and Riggs, who wear magnets on their collars to give them access in or out whenever they wish.  They love to sun themselves out there together, even on winter days or shade themselves under the large blue spruce.

Both pets have a sixth sense, and they know when I’m going to go away for a few days, even before I get out the suitcases. Duds is already suspicious about a trip Jim and I are taking over Thanksgiving to visit his aunt and uncle in Knoxville, Tennessee at their beautiful log home in the country.  Our friend Debbie always stays with Dudley and Riggs at the house, and they love her, but Dudley is already beginning to stare at me for long periods, the way he always does before I leave him for any travel.  Looking into his eyes or the eyes of any other dog or cat always makes me know they have stories they want to tell about their deepest feelings.  That’s why pet shelters are so important, and why we must be voices for pets in order to protect them and sometimes rescue them.

There is something miraculous about having a dog or cat in one’s life.  The bond cannot easily be expressed in mere words.  Dogs and cats improve our humanity, giving us an added purpose to each day in caring for them,  enjoying their warmth and gratitude for our providing for their simple needs, and most of all in their teaching us what devotion really is.

JB

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Freedom of Expression on Trial Again

American flag

The murder of the French satirists in Paris last week was yet another heinous act of violence by Islamic extremists in an attempt to smother freedom of thought. Countless analyses have been written, aired, and posted on this mindless crime. Though excellent commentaries have been shared in many publications from The New Yorker to Le Monde, I still feel an emptiness and a terrible yearning to better understand such hateful and inhuman behavior from fanatics so twisted in mind and spirit, that the reality of human lives means less than the illusion of a venomous deity that demands blood and suffering of those who use thought and humor to disagree with a “religious” view that has nothing to do with love, kindness, mercy, or forbearance, some of the usual foundations of spiritual doctrines.

French flag

I believe, in fact, that the actions of those who slaughtered the satirists had no basis at all in religion and nothing whatever to do with God. The behavior of the murderers was based upon a perceived social inequity and disenfranchisement so intense that all rational thought was blinded, not by passion for truth but rather by a need for revenge so powerful that nothing else mattered except the destruction of the perceived foe. I think the feeling of being socially insignificant or even socially dismissed altogether was the real source of rage, not cartoons making fun of a religious ideology.  The need to be recognized and lauded was a requirement of the ego, not the heart or soul in this case. Hence, the martyrdom, which one of the thugs said was his goal in an act of such malevolence that the murderers willingly hurled themselves into an oblivion from which none would return.

Islamic extremism

Personal hatred and abhorrence have always found hiding places behind what their practitioners wish to perceive is religious devotion, whether it is called God, Allah, or moral “correctness” of any kind. Centuries of narrow minded persecution on the part of Christians was of the same mentality in their torturing nonbelievers, burning them at the stake, hanging them, or beheading them. There is nothing new about such primitive and ignorant behavior, but when it occurs in what we would like to think is “the modern age,” such savage atrocities shock us, in this case as they were meant to do.

Nazis

Our hope, though, lies in our collective defiance of barbaric edicts that demand that we use neither our brains nor our senses to interpret the world around us. Such absolute, despotic control has been imposed during too many other eras of history from the slavery of ancient times through the spirit-crushing rule under the Nazis and Fascists in Europe during the previous century. It is all too familiar.

ideas are bullet proof

“Je Suis Charlie” (I am Charlie) has become a battle cry of freedom from fear of being controlled by any ideology, no matter what its disguise. Nothing and no one is beyond criticism. Anything that wounds the human spirit or attempts to keep it in chains is worthy of our most laser-honed analysis and reproof, especially through satire, which since ancient times has often been the sharpest and most powerful way to examine stupidity in all its forms and to hold it up in the daylight for all our scrutiny in order  to make the world a better and safer place for everyone. Vive La France! And may we all exert with loud voices in international harmony those words of defiance, challenge and loving insurrection. “Je Suis Charlie!”                John Bolinger

Je suis charlie

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Our Misplaced Quest for Yuletide Perfection

Christmas fare

I’m thinking now of Christmas past and the fact that if a painter were to depict any Christmas with my family, he certainly wouldn’t be Norman Rockwell. He would more than likely be Salvador Dali. Ah well, Neither artist would really be painting anything or anyone. They’ve both been dead for years. Yet I’m not sure there’s any other time of year more nostalgic than Christmas. Autumn comes close in summoning the melancholy images of times gone by, but it is Christmas (and perhaps Hanukkah for many) that takes us back to the remembered, if sometimes romanticized, anchors from childhood in a plethora of sensory stimuli from balsam trees to peppermint candy canes, the sounds of yuletide carols, and the tearing open of wrapping paper that early morning.

insane family

Though it’s also a season tinged by crass commercialism and of unabashed sentimentality, it is also an unapologetic sharing of recollection with family, friends, and even the occasional stranger. It’s a time of innocence and the letting go of some of our crusty, brittle sophistication that manages too often the rest of the year to blot out the child in us.

christmas spat

All of this sugary bliss has made me wonder, regardless of our social circumstances on the old ladder of affluence, if there isn’t inside each of us a time and place of true peace and joy, maybe moments tucked away in our psyches, sensations of happiness we attempt to bring back with varying degrees of success all the subsequent Christmases of our lives. It is a time of new experiences too (i.e. with grandchildren), but at its heart, Christmas is, I believe, a reassembling (like old Lincoln Logs?), recreating, and attempted retrieval of something lost or at least far away during the rest of the year. That’s why it’s so important to savor this season with friends and relatives but without wildly unrealistic expectations of perfection, which can reduce Christmas to the trimmed neatness of a greeting card or smug TV commercial. It doesn’t matter if the Parker House rolls are a bit burnt, if the green beans are overdone, or if your grandchildren did a finger painting with chocolate pudding on the dining room wall. Look at what is really important, remembering the echoes of Thanksgiving  just a month ago.

funny family

Let the best part of Christmas come of its own accord but through your gentle efforts perhaps to be a better person than you are the rest of the year. And let the cat and dog eat the strung popcorn off the tree.   JB

bearded family

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Wintering in Florida…

I never thought that I would become a snowbird. All those years of shoveling snow and scraping ice in Northwest Indiana were part of who I was. The daunting task of facing brutal winters by getting up early to clear the driveway before going to work on time and making sure my sidewalks were also not contaminated by the white stuff was second nature to me as a Hoosier and then as a Coloradan after I moved to Colorado in early January of 2008. Facing Old Man Winter was just another of those rituals, like going to the dentist for regular checkups, just another unpleasant obligation.

Then I visited friends in South Florida, where I and my partner Jim were intoxicated by the handsome condos we saw as well as the dazzling beauty of the flora and fauna, eventually purchasing a condo as a winter retreat for retirement, so that in our old age we wouldn’t have to endure anymore snow and ice storms, unless Mother Nature became unhinged enough to create them during summer and fall, which we spend in Colorado.

I’ve told many people that snow is still lovely to me on a Christmas card, or while I’m looking out a window,  sitting beside the fireplace with a nice brandy. However, snow loses much of its charm when it’s on our driveway, or melting and then turning to ice on streets and sidewalks. I’m satisfied to see snow on the national weather reports or on a Charlie Brown Christmas Special, but the actual charm of snow no longer measures up to the backbreaking work it requires when one tries to keep it under control.

So here I am in Pompano Beach until May, when I’ll return to the northern regions of our country and the majestic mountains of Colorado.

My only awkward transition from there to here each winter is the Christmas season, when I can’t seem to get my mind around the lush greenery everywhere around me, juxtaposed to the occasional illuminated snowmen on front lawns, Santa in his sleigh, and candy canes with Christmas bells hanging from palm trees. It’s almost like seeing an igloo in Honolulu. It simply doesn’t work. But, I’m not complaining. I’ll take the balmy ocean breezes down here over anything I’ve seen this past week from Buffalo, New York.     JB

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Bolinger Books as Holiday Gifts…at Barnes & Noble

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Susan Finch Designs…

I usually don’t endorse products, especially those on my blog or on Facebook, but I have a talented friend, Susan, whom I have known for more than fifty years, who now lives in Washington, D.C., where she arranges hotel reservations for groups and organizations and creates her own line of earrings.

Though Susan didn’t ask me to help promote her jewelry, I chose to do it because of her talent as a designer and, frankly, because of our old friendship. I’ll include some basic info with some photos of earrings Susan has recently designed.

Earrings $8 to $20 plus $3.50 shipping. Free shipping on orders above $50. No website but can send photos. All wires are sterling, only real gemstones (like garnet, labradorite) used. Will do custom work. Will repair and refurbish. Can turn old necklaces into updated dazzlers.

E-mail is the best method for contacting Susan and placing orders:

Email: SusanJaneFinch@gmail.com

She does beautiful work.   JB

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Some Thoughts about Facebook…

There are few people more skeptical of technology than I. Despite claims by computer and cellphone manufacturers that we are more “connected” than ever before, I remain suspicious that we can too easily become delusional over the ease of using the polyester substitute for language through text messaging and the quick but impersonal forwarding of gang mail increasingly and insensitively. I am indeed a critic of an electronic civilization that seems to have been designed like a very fast sports car without seatbelts or brakes.

However, perhaps beyond any possible explanation, I have become an advocate of Facebook for the positive effects I have enjoyed there. Though there have been myriad complaints about lack of privacy, as well as about legal issues such as copyrights, I find on Facebook an enormous jigsaw puzzle of human interest, regarding any number of subjects from grandchildren to the best recipes for pumpkin pie. Because we get to choose our “friends,” there is on some level a shared scope of memory and values, even though we can also disagree and debate on any subject we choose mutually.

Sometimes Facebook becomes a large book of condolences over occasional hard times affecting individual members or groups, or tender consolation over the loss of loved ones, and in the honoring of those who have left us. There are photos of friends and relatives, pets, gardens, vacations, and comic situations that remind us that we are all prone to predicaments from time to time, as in having an uncle, who gets drunk at the family Christmas gathering, or having a pot of cooking rice boil over onto the kitchen floor. Those little incidents of daily life begin to form a huge mandala of the human situation in its inspiring, annoying, breathtaking, silly, loving, beautiful panorama of who we are as a species from day to day.

For me Facebook has been a place of happy reunions with many former students from the past forty-five years and a place for reconnections with lost friends and acquaintances with whom I have shared parts of my life but from whom I have been separated by circumstances of geographic relocation or occasionally frantic transformation of situation or revelation. At any rate, Facebook, in some extraordinary, inexplicable way, seems to provide some sort of anchor in our collective journey through the seasons of life, including those signposts about everything from birth to the grave, and if one has chosen well his or her friends, there will be a sympathetic bond that transcends electronics and the otherwise often impersonal or virtual world we have created through technology. That irony can give us hope.   JB

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On My Soapbox Again…

The other evening while visiting friends in Northwest Indiana, I had dinner with a few of them in a beautiful Mexican restaurant in Munster, a building that used to be the Town Hall. The staff was wonderful, and the food was absolutely delicious and plentiful. I was, however, unable to ignore a trio of diners in a booth across from our table. Sitting there were a man, who appeared to be in his late twenties, a beautiful woman his age (perhaps his wife or girlfriend), and an elderly woman of great dignity, handsomely dressed. My attention was drawn to the three only because they seemed utterly disengaged each from the other two. The young man was texting furiously even after his dinner was brought to him, the younger woman was playing games on her cellphone, as the older woman sat patiently as though she were a complete stranger. Not a word was spoken within the trio, as the games and texting continued, fingers taking little breaks only to ingest bits of the lovely food that had been served. The three might as well have been in separate rooms, separate states, or separate countries. At the same time, there was a look of supreme boredom on each of the three faces, as though all were going through the motions of patience in being with their companions. I felt most sad for the elderly woman, who had no toy to play with or other person with whom to chat.

This scene I have noticed being played out over and over again in restaurants and waiting rooms almost everywhere I go over the past few years. From where does such boredom and terrible rudeness come? Why have electronic images, texting, and games taken precedence over other human beings, who are in the same room or at the same table? We are becoming more and more desensitized in being beguiled by little devices that make the rest of the world around us simply disappear. Though I don’t think people really intend to be callous, they seem unaware that such behavior is uncivil at best. Such discourtesy compromises who we are and who we can be in a society that is becoming increasingly “virtual” and impersonal, despite the unending messages by phone and computer companies that we are all “connected.”

I’d like to think that I’m not alone in my concern that simple manners and consideration for others around us are fading into a colossal discourtesy so prevalent that it is not even noticed anymore by most people under the age of forty. The group with whom I had dinner that evening also noticed the lack of etiquette at the other table and were as appalled as I was at the apparently hardened, unfeeling behavior that came from ignoring others at their shared table. I’m not sure what can be done about such numbed social graces, but I can hope only that most people can figure out for themselves that they need to treat their companions with more respect and more kindness than to show that a text message, electronic game, or cellphone call is more important than being human. Finally, the problem may not even be a matter of social correctness as much as an issue of being conscious of how we ourselves would like to be treated in the same circumstances.   JB

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Gratitude…

I believe that being grateful is a natural part of being human. We may have to learn how to express and channel that reaction to kindness or help, but gratitude is innate in our species, as it is in other groups of the “animal” kingdom.  There are recorded cases of birds remembering who mended their broken wings, cats and dogs retaining memories of who saved them from starvation or cruelty, lion and tiger cubs recalling rescuers many years afterward.

For human beings gratitude is necessary for true happiness and a full sense of life. To be grateful is to be more aware of the joy in being alive, that powerful emotion that tells us life itself is a wonderful gift, which may even be what happiness itself is in the broadest sense.

In terms of religious doctrine and practice, human beings might use the adjective “thankful” to express a heightened sensation of appreciation or that feeling of being “beholden” for things that make life more beautiful or meaningful, like the birth of a healthy child, a reunion with an old friend, or the healing of a wound, whether physical or emotional. The idea of God seems a perfectly natural recipient of our thanks, the concept of God taking many forms in the many religions of the world. Though we humans do not often do well with nameless abstractions, it is still possible to feel a sense of thankfulness on some level without an act of worship. Dozens of  the world’s religions all claim to be the “true” ones, each with its own passionate argument about the real road to enlightenment or even salvation, but one thing they all seem to share is the need to feel and express being thankful for the unfathomable gift of life.

In our time we face a materialistic world of “things,” gadgets, machines, electronics, and generally venal values that many people actually believe determine their worth as human beings. The more we accumulate, the more spoiled we become and the more we want, until we lose sight of what are more essential things, like devotion, loyalty, love, generosity, compassion, and friendship. Some compare their wealth and that of others, sometimes holding on tightly to the illusion of entitlement based upon their having worked harder, having been more “godly,” or just smarter. At last they realize that mere “things” are not as important as they may have thought, even the smallest of which cannot be taken to the grave.

It has often been my experience that those with the least material possessions are also the ones most thankful for whatever they have. Maybe that’s because there is also a keen awareness of the frequent absence of even material necessities, let alone pleasures. The other side of this coin is that wealth can reach a point at which one has so very much in terms of material possessions that those “things” become blurred in an ever-upward climb toward more and more, so that the more things there are, the less they mean.

We’ve all complained about life’s little twists and turns. I’ve caught myself asking, “Why me?” when cutting myself shaving…a week after which I should also have been asking the same question about the healing of that cut. The bottom line is one of awareness of the good around and inside us, even on our saddest and worst days.

Whether or not one believes in an omnipotent and sympathetic creator, there remains an empty or hollow space in every life that can be filled only by gratitude, expression of that awareness of life as the most extraordinary and miraculous of gifts. Maybe we can and should look at those we love and at the beauty of the natural world whenever it manifests itself in a flower, a tree, a sunrise or sunset, and know that being alive is truly a remarkable thing. Such awe is perhaps finally what thankfulness really is, and happiness too.   

I dedicate this little essay to my friend and former student, Joe Guerra, whose recent expressions of gratitude on Facebook were so inspiring to all who read them.   JB

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My Favorite Autumnal Soup…

           CURRIED PUMPKIN SOUP

Ingredients:  

1 med. onion, chopped
1/4 cup butter or olive oil

1 29 oz. can Libby’s cooked pumpkin puree (not pie filling)
1 large can chicken or vegetable broth or your own stock
 1 tsp. sugar or honey
 1 bay leaf
 1 tbsp. good curry powder (or to taste)
 1/ 8 tsp. nutmeg
 1 tbsp. dry parsley
 2 cups milk (2% or whole milk)
 1 cup heavy cream
 1 tsp. salt
 freshly ground pepper (to taste)

****************************************************
Saute chopped onion in butter until onion is tender and transparent.
Stir in all other ingredients except milk and cream.  Simmer for about
fifteen minutes.  Then use blender (or immersion blender, which is
so much easier) to puree mixture until creamy smooth.  Finally, add
slowly the milk and cream while stirring.  Continue to heat until desired
temperature.   Serve with a crisp French bread or your own croutons.
*Freezes well

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