A TV Addiction

HouseHunters logo

I am what some folks might call a junkie for a television show called House Hunters, a program dealing with people looking for homes to purchase.

House-Hunters

Part of my fascination is based upon a bewilderment regarding the clients of this program and how easily they seem to pay for houses and/or the necessary renovations, apparently from inexhaustible monetary resources. I have rather a grisly interest in watching others spend money in so cavalier a manner, while I sit in a reclining chair at home. Maybe there’s also a connection to my loving to watch shows like Hoarders and Cops, much the same experience, I would imagine, as seeing exotic life forms on planets in other galaxies, so remote, they seem at times to be creations of science fiction.

Million-Dollar-Homes-

One of the intriguing things about many of the young couples on House Hunters is their seemingly vast incomes, despite their weeping about having to stay within their budgets, which are often at $750,000 or more. From where do these people, often in their twenties or thirties, get such sums of money? Sipping a glass of chilled pinot grigio yesterday, I watched a married couple (on House Hunters International) in their thirties seeking a “vacation” home in Aruba. They crooned to the realtor about needing an oceanfront property but having a budget of “only” half a million dollars. Let me remind the reader that the quest was for a “vacation home.” At that point, I couldn’t help imagining the couple as drug smugglers or high-end embezzlers. I mean, where do people at that or any other age get that kind of income outside a comfortable trust fund? Beyond that, I was annoyed by the wife’s whining about the necessity of a bidet in her own bathroom. Her husband’s eyes rolled slightly, either in dismay or in a daydream about using the device as a cooler for the beers I was certain were his buffer against her other demands for redoing the house from top to bottom. The lovely quartz countertops in the kitchen and bathrooms, she said, would all have to be replaced by granite, and all appliances would have to be stainless steel, a common requirement that still mystifies me. Kitchens and bathrooms inevitably become “dated” every five years anyway, when the next bully decorator in New York snarls that something has become outmoded enough for hordes of homeowners to rush out to Lowes and Home Depot to purchase whatever is “in” at the moment, replacing whatever has been declared outdated by current decorator gurus of the newest kitchen crap.

man and wife house hunters

 I usually end up talking to or yelling at the TV (depending upon how many glasses of wine I’ve had) that the house they passed up was actually the best bargain for their purposes and that the hen-pecked husband should just leave his shrewish wife.

Heated argument

Heated argument

I suggest that the already popular TV shows, House Hunters and Divorce Court could merge into a fantastic new program called either House Court, or Divorce Hunters, either one of which I would be only too happy to host, as long as there are plenty of beers chilling in the ice-filled bidet.   JB

bidet-beer

About John

John Bolinger was born and raised in Northwest Indiana, where he attended Ball State University and Purdue University, receiving his BA and MA from those schools. Then he taught English and French for thirty-five years at Morton High School in Hammond, Indiana before moving to Colorado. He spends his winters in Pompano Beach, Florida. Besides COME SEPTEMBER, Journey of a High School Teacher, John's other books are ALL MY LAZY RIVERS, an Indiana Childhood, and COME ON, FLUFFY, THIS AIN'T NO BALLET, a Novel on Coming of Age, all available on Amazon.com as paperbacks and Kindle books. Alternately funny and touching, COME SEPTEMBER, conveys the story of every high school teacher’s struggle to enlighten both himself and his pupils, encountering along the way, battles with colleagues, administrators, and parents through a parade of characters that include a freshman boy for whom the faculty code name is “Spawn of Satan,” to a senior girl whose water breaks during a pop-quiz over THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS. Through social change and the relentless march of technology, the human element remains constant in the book’s personal, entertaining, and sympathetic portraits of faculty, students, parents, and others. The audience for this book will certainly include school teachers everywhere, teenagers, parents of teens, as well as anyone who appreciates that blend of humor and pathos with which the world of public education is drenched. The drive of the story is the narrator's struggle to become the best teacher he can be. The book is filled with advice for young teachers based upon experience of the writer, advice that will never be found in college methods classes. Another of John's recent books is Mum's the Word: Secrets of a Family. It is the story of his alcoholic father and the family's efforts to deal with or hide the fact. Though a serious treatment of the horrors of alcoholism, the book also entertains in its descriptions of the father during his best times and the humor of the family's attempts to create a façade for the outside world. All John's books are available as paperbacks and Kindle readers on Amazon, and also as paperbacks at Barnes & Noble. John's sixth and most recent book, Growing Old in America: Notes from a Codger was released on June 15, 2014.
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